Friday, March 12, 2010

My new life starts today

I just started writing my screenplay.  I'm going to pay off my bills this summer and I will start personal training classes this fall.  I'm determined to lead the life I want to lead!

I must re-evaluate my life

Just found out that a boyfriend I had 17 years ago is married to a girl he said was a friend to him back then.  I thought he was THE ONE, but after we were involved in a motorcycle accident our relationship ended.  Not because of me, but because he couldn't deal with the fact that I almost got killed.  So, this friend of his I met a couple of times when we were dating in 1993.  They talked about going to Paris together which I thought was odd considering he didn't ask me to go and that Paris is one of the most romantic cities in the world.  He kept assuring me that they were just friends, but I got upset about it and we had a big fight.  We ended up making up, but about one month later it was over.  I think she wanted him and went after him.  She could see that he was having issues with the motorcycle accident and he was vulnerable. 

The reason I say I have re-evaluate my life is because she's on tv doing her thing.  She's on a tv show talking about fashion and how to live a fabulous life on a budget.  I can't even get a freakin' interview for a job.  I want to do creative, fun things with my life.  Now that I have kids and a husband who hates his job and could quit at any moment.  My brain keeps telling me that you have to find a 9-5  and make sure everyone has health insurance.  My heart tells me to write your script that you have in your head.  Become a personal trainer.  Maybe go to cooking or interior design school.  Start your own business.

Maybe finding this out was the push I needed.  I knew he was married, but I didn't know it was to HER.  Now I see she's successful and doing wonderful things it's made me pissed.  Pissed that I don't have that.  Makes me even more determined to do what I want.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a snow filled sky

Welcome to my blog.  I will be talking about events of the day, my search for employment and my struggle with weight loss.  I have been for most of my life overweight.  Not huge, but not small either.  Right now I'm probably on my 1000th diet. I gave up sweets and I'm vegan for Lent.  I have fallen off the wagon a couple of times. The hardest thing for me has been giving up the sweets.  I have been working out like a madwoman.  I notice that my clothes have been fitting better, but the scale has not been my friend.  I will continue my quest of thinness.  I will try to update this blog as much as possible.

I think my falling off the wagon has a lot to do with the fact that no one will hire me.  I can hardly get anyone to interview me.  I went for an interview last week and it went great, but I was the first person she interviewed.  She said that in a couple of weeks they would be contacting the people they would like to come in for a second interview.  I think if they were really interested I would have heard something by now.  Or maybe I'm just being impatient.  I should be happy I have a job.  It's part-time, close to home and my schedule is very flexible, but DH hates his job and wants to quit.  The only reason he doesn't quit is because we need health care.  So, until I can get a full-time job with health insurance he has to stay and be miserable.  Which is making me miserable.

The Hurt LockerLet's talk about my current crush...Jeremy Renner.  I would say move over Christian Bale or John Taylor of Duran Duran, but it's not that serious..yet.  I just put a whole bunch of his movies in my Blockbuster queue.  And I watched The Hurt Locker 2 times this weekend.  I wish he had won the Oscar.  His acting was fantastic.