Thursday, December 30, 2010

Trying to be optimistic

For me and others that I know 2010 hasn't been that great of a year. I hope that the new year will bring new opportunities. Goodness knows I'm trying with the blogs and selling make-up. I realized I need to take charge of my destiny. Sitting around and waiting for someone to realize that I'm a great person didn't work last year. Going to make an effort to come out of my shell and get people to notice me. I'm ready to change. I'm ready to evolve. So, at this time next year I hope to be at a place where I'm finally satisfied with my life.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Christmas is almost here!

Well, I'm ready for Christmas. Done with all the Christmas shopping. Hoping that the snow that's going to arrive this weekend doesn't keep us for traveling to grandma's house for the holiday. Excited for the new year to arrive. Hoping that I get some good gifts this year. I would like a netbook most of all. I already got a great Christmas gift. Duran Duran finally released and new album and it's fabulous. My favorite song off the record is The Man Who Stole a Leopard.
Looking forward to a tour next year. No matter where I am I will see them in concert.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Weight Watchers

I have decided to try Weight Watchers again at the beginning of the year because of this Yes, fruits and veggies are free. So, instead of going for a cookie that's worth 2 points and skipping the banana. I will go for the banana. And since I plan on eating fruits and vegetables for breakfast and lunch the points system will be much more easier for me to follow. I'm excited about this. I think I can really do it this time. Finally get the weight off and it will stay off.

I haven't been exercising as much lately. I've been taking a break, but I will be back to it January 3, 2011. I'm ready for the new year. I'm ready to finally get control of my life.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ready for the new year

So at this time of year I'm tired of the year we are living in now and ready to begin a new. Of course a lot of the things I said I was going to do this year (lose weight and get a full-time job) didn't happen. I always start out with good intentions. To be honest the job thing wasn't my fault. I applied for many jobs and got very few interviews. This is the first time in my career I can't get hired in social services. Something I just don't understand. Now, DH wants me to get my master's degree. He thinks that will make me more marketable. Frankly, I think I will have the same problem and we'll have less money because it's so expensive to go to school. I know what I want to do. I'm scared of failure. I'm scared I won't be a success. I'm just scared about the future. I love blogging, sharing things on the internet through social media. I had lunch with an old friend a couple of days ago. She suggested I try the blogging, social media thing for about 6 months. If it doesn't work out then go back to school.

DH is another story. He wants to move to Canada now because he thinks the US is going in the wrong direction. The GOP don't want to work with Obama. Some of the Democrats don't want to work with Obama. So, nothing will get done and the country will go to hell in a hand basket. This is what my DH is thinking. He thought the same thing after Bush won in 2004. The country is in trouble lets move to England. I don't want to go. I want to stay here and try to make things better in my own way. So, my entire life is up in the air. I just wish for once I could have a stable life. A life where I know what I want to do and where I'm going to live.

The battle of bulge or what I like to call the battle of the century with my weight. I know what I have to do. It's doing it that's the problem. With all the stress in my life eating fruit and vegetables aren't going to cut it. But we are going on a trip next year and I want to look good. So, I'm going to have to do more yoga or something to calm my stress levels down and get more willpower to stick to the diet I know works for me. I had a bit of success with it earlier this year.

2011 what do you have in store for me. I can't wait to find out!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I've been thinking about this for a while. We are we always romanticizing the past and not the future? We've been hearing a lot lately that some want to take their country back and go back to a time like the 1950s. Now I wonder if people in the 1950s would ever imagine that time in history being so popular. Times were hard back then too I'm sure, but we tend to remember mostly the good things. I personally loved the 1980s. Sometimes I wish I could go back and experience a good day back then. I was a teenager then so I didn't really pay any attention to politics. We always had food on the table, clothes on our backs and a roof over our heads. I spent most of my time shopping for clothes, records and of course going to school.

What triggered all of this for me was the fact that Revlon has brought back it's Fire & Ice collection It has Jessica Biel dressed up like a starlet in the 1950s. The collection has eyeshadows, lipsticks and nail polish in bright colors. I think Revlon is capitalizing on the feelings of many people wanting a little bit of the past. Personally the colors are a bit bright for me, but I'm sure there are some people out there who are happy to see it return.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Workout Schedule For The Next 2 Weeks.

Ok, it's crunch time! Thanksgiving is almost here. This is when my workout schedule starts to get intense.

Sunday 11/14 Tae Bo Cardio Inferno
Monday 11/15 Jackie Warner Xtreme Time Saver & Amy Bento All Pump Xtreme
Tuesday 11/16 Bob Harper Pure Burn Super Strength & Tonique
Wednesday 11/17 Jackie Warner Xtreme Time Saver & Jillian Michaels Shred It With Weights
Thursday 11/18 Tae Bo Cardio Inferno & Tonique
Friday 11/19 Bob Harper Pure Burn & Tonique
Saturday 11/20 Tae bo Get Ripped & Jari Love Get Extremely Ripped 1000
Sunday 11/21 Jackie Warner Xtreme Time Saver & Jillian Michaels Shred it With Weights
Monday 11/22 Working all day
Tuesday 11/23 Bob Harper Pure Burn & Tonique
Wednesday 11/24 Walk 3 miles & Jackie Warner Xtreme Time Saver

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Busy Week!

So glad this week is almost over. It's not so much work. I only have 2 stores plus the cigarette collection in the gas station. So this next check is going to be really small. No, my son was on tv with his art class on Tuesday. Originally it was supposed to be the 18th, but they moved it to the 9th. So, I was nervous about that and didn't get a lot of sleep. Then we had to get up early that morning and hang around the art studio for about 3 hours. My son was in about 3 segments. The reporter didn't talk to him, but she did like his painting and asked him to stand right by her for what they called "a tease." It went well. I made sure to tell everyone that he was going to be on. I guess some people saw it. I don't get much response on Facebook. I've kind of decided to stay away from Facebook. I think people just ask to be your friend to show how many people they have friended. I don't think they sincerely want to be your friend. I will try to get some rest this weekend.

I have kind of started The Hormone Diet. I bought some of the supplements she recommended and I'm trying to stay away from dairy and sugar. I'm having a hard time staying away from artificial sweetener. I just want to have this bloated feeling anymore. Will keep you updated on the progress.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Starting to make sense

Ok, so for the past couple of days I've been reading The Hormone Diet. What Natasha Turner ND is saying in the book makes a lot of sense. I started having the fatigue, bloating, hair loss, trouble losing weight and stomach fat as soon as I hit 40. My hormones are completely out of whack. Now I just have to narrow down exactly what hormones are out of whack and the right regime to follow. From what I'm reading so far I have too much insulin, estrogen and cortisol. The next section I will be reading is the start of the 3 step program. Can't wait to get started!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Here we go!

Just got my copy of The Hormone Diet in the mail. Now I have to find time to read it. I'm hoping that this will explain some of the things that are happening to me. On another note...I just got a DVD of The Hurt Locker. So, I plan to have that on a continuous loop. Yummy Jeremy Renner!

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Hormone Diet

Wondering if it's my hormones that are out of whack. Will be ordering this book. It's gotten some good reviews on Amazon. I will be updating my progress with this diet on this blog.

Workout Schedule for the Week of November 1st

Doesn't look like I will work out today. I did some dancing in the living room for an hour. I might do a little more before I pick up the kids from school. Then I have to take him to acting class, go back to my daughter's school for a meeting with the teacher. Pick him up from acting class and then we come home. So, I will be doing a lot of walking today. Starting tomorrow....

Tuesday-Tonique and Lean Machine
Wednesday-Xtreme Timesaver and Shred It With Weights
Friday-Tonique and Yoga Meltdown
Saturday-A Tae Bo workout
Sunday-Xtreme Timesaver and Shred It With Weights

Starting Over

This is probably the wrong time of year to start over, but I went to Whole Foods today and bought some fruit to eat for breakfast. So, I can have at least one raw meal a day. The weight is not budging. I'm looking more and more bloated every day. I don't know what's going on, but what worked for me was eating 2 raw meals a day and a vegan meal for dinner. I got so tired of that after a while. And fruit and veg and so expensive. Sometimes I would not eat the lettuce one day and the next day it would be rotten. I wasted so much money. I'm going to start again tomorrow. I need to budge a little weight by Thanksgiving.

Friday, October 29, 2010

I'm a Cougar!

Apparently I am because this 24 year old boy...I mean man asked me for my "digits" yesterday. This guy always speaks to me when I'm in the store. He's always making an effort to speak to me and complimenting me on my perfume or clothes. I knew he liked me, but he would never take it to another level until yesterday. I told him that I was married with 2 kids. Showed him my wedding ring and he looked gobsmacked. He said that he didn't think that I was married. Then when I asked him his age and he told me 24. I laughed and said "I'm old enough to be your mother." He then says "I like older women." Then he went away from a while. He came back and asked me if I was happy. I said yes. He said "Well, that's all that matters." He then asked if he could at least take me to breakfast some time. I said yes just to end the subject and get back to work. I don't think we would have much in common even if I were single. It's nice to know that I've still got it though;-)

Monday, October 25, 2010

Workout Schedule for the Week of October 25th

Got some new workout DVDs for my birthday and I want to do more strength training to boost my metabolism. I started today and I did 2 new DVDs. The first one was Jackie Warner Xtreme Time Saver Training workout. That thing is intense. It's the best workout you can get in 30 minutes. I felt like I got a total workout and she kicked my butt. The next one was Jari Love's Lean Machine. It was good, but not as good as her others. I still felt like I got a good workout, but there are some dance steps while doing weights and my coordination wasn't so good today. I think if I do it more often I will get the hang of it. Here's the schedule:
Monday-Lean Machine & Xtreme Time Saver Training.
Tuesday- Yoga Meltdown
Wednesday-Tonique & Shred It With Weights
Thursday-Working no workout
Friday-Tonique & Xtreme Time Saver Training
Saturday-Tonique & Yoga Meltdown
Sunday-Lean Machine
There it is. Hopefully I can stick to it.

Friday, October 22, 2010

I'm a year older

But I don't think any wiser. I had a nice birthday. I got my hair done and voted. Then when I came home my mom was here and she surprised me with Chinese food and cupcakes. A dieter's dream. Anyway, I don't feel my age. I still feel like that awkward teenage girl. I just can't seem to get it together lately. I thought after a certain age you have all the answers and your life is together and you just roll along until you die. Also, I feel like someone in their early 20s who doesn't know what to do with her life. I decided to try selling makeup again. I'm a Mark Cosmetics rep. I just have to figure out a way to sell exclusively online. I don't want to bother people or hold their hand to make them buy something from me. I just want to direct people to my website. They can e-mail me if they have questions or want a sample. I need more income. I'm so used to having a full-time job and income. This little money I make every 2 weeks is not doing it. I do feel a bit of relief with my decision to not apply for any more social services jobs. It's like a weight has been lifted from me.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

My Son's Poem

My son is a wonderful artist. He loves to draw and paint. Now he's getting into poetry. Here's his first poem: Hot, hot people are hot. The whole town is hot, but when it's raining it's cool, but right now it's hot. His class are studying poetry and he's really excited about it. He wanted me to share the poem with you.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

That was sort of a workout

I haven't been working out like I said I would. Yesterday I was crazy busy with work and then I had to pick the kids up and take my son to his acting class. I was tired, so tired by the end of the day. And because I walked everywhere my legs were killing me. Today I tried to work out. Kept getting phone calls and then an e-mail from my supervisor asking me about a report. So, of course I can't just let that go until after my workout. Look up the info and respond. Then I get a call from out of the blue from a mom I met in the summer. Her son was in Theatre Camp with my son. She was calling to see if we liked the books she sold to us and if we wanted any more. I asked her to send us a link to her website. We then tentatively scheduled a play date for 11/12. It's still in the back of my mind. What to do with my life? It's always there. Telling me I'm not doing enough. Then why am I so tired?!

Monday, October 18, 2010

So Glad Today Is Over

I was so busy today. I had to cover for someone who didn't do their stores last week. My Supervisor sends out an e-mail asking for help Sunday night. Why didn't she know the stores weren't done until then? That's my question. Anyway, the store took a lot longer than I thought it would, but I got everything done that I wanted to. Then I had to pick up the kids from school. Take my son to acting class. Then I went to CVS with my daughter to pick up one thing. I end up buying a fairy princess costume. It's cute and the skirt lights up. We are finally home and I'm cooking dinner. I will probably crash during Hoarders;-) No energy to do any of the workouts I planned so far for this week.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

I Officially Give Up

You can quote me on this. I officially give up looking for a social services job. My career in social services is over. Actually the last time I had a social services job in 2005 is when it ended. I went for an interview for a part-time job in a hole in the wall church. You know what?! I didn't get it. I've had it. I can't do this anymore. I have to find something else to do with my life. But what?! I worked in social services from 1995-2005. That was my career. Moving to England with my DH for 2 years killed it. May my career in social services RIP. I won't be sending out any more resumes.

There are things I want to do, but it costs money. DH is not happy with his job and he wants to leave, but can't. If he happens to lose his job we would need that money. Meanwhile I have bills to pay and I can barely cover them from what I make at my part-time job. And I find out on Thursday that one of the stores I collect every week will be closing 11/10/10. That will be at least 2-3 hours from my little,tinny, tiny check. My supervisor will hopefully get me another store.

I just need a break. Something, anything.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

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I love Fall

Today was a great Fall day. It rained this morning and I got drenched, but when I got home I was so happy to be in my warm home. It was raining and more leaves were falling off the trees. I just feel all cozy when it's gray and raining outside. I did a good deed today. It was pouring and I saw a familiar face standing under an doorway trying to stay out of the rain. She's the mom of a little girl who goes to my daughter's school. My son used to go there and he was in the same class with her daughter. It's a private school so we couldn't afford to send them both there. So, last year we put our son in public school. Anyway, we talked for a while. I gave her information about my son's school and then said goodbye. Well, when I got inside I could see her still standing on the corner and I felt bad. So, I got into my car and drove to the corner where she was standing. I offered her a ride home. She just asked me to take her to the El. I felt good after that. I don't like to drive in the rain, but she's so nice and I would have felt really guilty if I hadn't.

I did work out today. As much as I wanted to sleep all day I didn't. I did the Amy Bento All Pump Extreme and Billy Blanks Jr. Cardio Fit. Trying to do at least 280 minutes of cardio. I heard that you need to do that much a week to lose weight.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Just not motivated

Well, yesterday I had trouble with my work computer. Spent almost 7 hours trying to send in the data to my company. I was not motivated to do any working out yesterday because of this. Today I went to Dunkin Donuts and bought some hash browns and the Maple Cheddar Breakfast Sandwich. It was good, but of course after I was like 'what did I just do?' I did work out today. I did the Tonique and Yoga Meltdown. I couldn't finish the Tonique because my left hip really started hurting. I'm glad I did something. I wanted to lose some weight before Thanksgiving, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen.

I did get a new work computer today. I think this is the 5th one I've gotten this year. This job would be great if I got paid more money and if the equipment were better.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Workout Schedule For This Week 10/10-10/16

Ok, this will be my schedule. I will try to stick to it. I don't have to work as much this week as in previous weeks. Which means less money, but I get to work out more.
Sunday-Cardioke w/Billy Blanks Jr. It's On Demand and I want to try it.
Monday-Tonique & Shred It w/Weights
Tuesday-Tonique & Yoga Meltdown
Wedneday-Amy Bento All Pump Extreme
Thursday-I'll be working most of the day, but I will try to do as much walking as possible.
Friday-Cardio Inferno & Shred It w/Weights

Friday, October 8, 2010

This Week In Review

Well, I had a busy week. I worked every day except for Tuesday and today. The job I have I like, but I wish I could make more money. That's why I'm looking for work. I went for a job interview yesterday on the south side. I didn't want to drive so I took the CTA. It took me 90 minutes to get there. When I get there I learn that I would be the only case manager and would basically be on my own. I haven't done case management in 5 years. So, I have a feeling that they are going to want someone who has been doing this recently because the person will be on their own and would have to be a self-starter. Also, it's part-time and right now the person would be only working 10-12 hours a week. It took me 90 minutes to get there, but coming back it only took 60. I'm trying to decide if it's worth the travel time for such low hours. If the job was in my neighborhood it would be perfect. Still I'm a little apprehensive about being on my own.

As far as the diet and working out. I have been working out and doing a lot of walking. I really haven't stuck to the schedule because I rented an Amy Bento workout from Blockbuster. I only did a brief workout from it today. I plan to do a longer workout soon. I'm not a fan of Amy Bento's cuing, but I like the fact that she uses weights and bands in this workout. It's strength training heavy another reason I like it. And then Exercise TV has Jillian Michaels Shred-It With Weights. I've done that one twice already. So far I like it. I can't seem to get back into the swing of eating the raw and vegan meals. So, I have decided to just eat healthy and work out. Plus, I really can't afford to buy a bunch of fruit and veg then don't eat it, it goes bad and I end up throwing it away.

Will put up another workout schedule tomorrow. I want to work out with weights more to build more muscle and increase my metabolism.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Today's workout

Well, I did the Tonique and I have to say that I'm a little out of practice. At one point I was doing it 3-4 days a week. I haven't done it in about 4 weeks really and it kicked my butt. I then did Billy Blanks Cardio Inferno instead of the Yoga Meltdown because I wanted to review it for my other blog. It was challenging, but I was disappointed. I wish my heart rate went up as much as it did with the Tonique. I'm just glad I did my workouts today. I wasn't going to work out tomorrow, but I see On Demand there's Jillian Michaels Shred It With Weights. I gotta do it. I gotta try it. So, when I get home tomorrow that's what I'm doing.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Workout Schedule For This Week

Sunday-Billy Blanks Cardio Inferno
Monday-(off day) Working, but I plan to do a lot of walking.
Tuesday-Tonique and Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown
Wednesday-(off day) getting hair done, but I will try to do some walking.
Thursday-(off day) Working and a job interview
Friday-Tonique and Jari Love Get Ripped 1000
Saturday-Yoga Meltdown and Cardio Inferno

I really haven't had a week recently where I can actually do a workout DVD for more that 5 days a week as usual. I've been busy and this next week is hectic as well. I hope things start to calm down so I can get back to working out 5-6 days a week for a couple of hours or more. This is a good way to ease myself back into the routine. On my off days I will try to walk as much as possible.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Sugar-Free Apple Pie
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Working Out

With work being so busy I haven't had the chance to work out, but I have been doing a lot of walking.  I like to walk in between the stores I have to visit.  I think next week I will get back to working out.  The workload isn't as high and it will be October almost time for my birthday.  I want to lose some weight before then.  I think I look fine, but the scale tells me something different.  I haven't been following my vegan/raw diet either, but I have been trying to eat healthy and not too many snacks.  This is usually the time of the year where I give up on dieting and just say I will wait until the beginning of the year.  Not this year.  I will post my workout routine next week and stick to it.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Today reminds me of another time.

Well, today was a good day.  My son was out of school.  Spent some quality time with him.  It's weird being here with him all day.  That was the norm until my daughter was born.  In England we had a schedule.  We would get up, have breakfast, I would watch some of my shows, he would then watch an educational DVD then I would sneak away to play on the internet.  Then we would go upstairs and go over what he learned on the DVD and I would read to him sometimes we would play.  If the weather was nice we would go into the backyard or garden as they say in England.  Or, we would go to one of the three parks located in the little town.  Then he would have lunch, take a nap.  I would do some housework and play on the computer some more.  After nap we would play some more or dance to music.  I would go downstairs to cook dinner and he would watch cartoons.  It's weird how I had such a schedule with him, but with my daughter it didn't work out that way.  Sometimes I miss those times, but if you told me then I would say that now I wouldn't believe you.  I was so lonely there during the day and wanted to be home in Chicago so much.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


I have an interview on 10/7 for a part-time social services job.  I hope, I hope I get it.  One problem, it's on the south side and I take the kids to school and pick them up.  So, I'm wondering if I can actually work enough hours to make traveling over there worthwhile.  We shall see.

My Diet Isn't Working

I don't know what's wrong with me.  I can't seem to do the diet I was doing so easily earlier this year.  I was eating 2 raw meals a day (breakfast and lunch) and then a vegan meal for dinner.  I just can't seem to get back into the groove of doing it.  I will try again starting next week.  I have to lose some weight before the holidays because I want to be able to enjoy myself and not cry about every calorie I put in my mouth.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Why Is This So Hard?

I don't understand why I can't even seem to get anywhere in this job market.  The lady I was talking about yesterday never called me back.  So, I called her.  She first kept me on hold for a couple of minutes.  You know that feeling you get when someone doesn't want to talk to you.  That's the feeling I got. Of course she has this attitude with me right away when I ask her if she has another interview time available.  Only Tues at 3:30pm.  When I tell her why I can't make that time she then asks "How are you going to work a job if you have to pick your kids up?"  I told her that I would get aftercare for them, but I'm working part-time right now so I don't need it.  She seemed to not even want to try to help me out in any way.  She just was unwilling to move and wouldn't be interviewing people the following week.  She just didn't seem to care if I was able to make it in or not.  So, I just thanked her for considering me and hung up.  I'm relieved because I feel the interview would have been a disaster so it's probably best that I skip this one, but on the other hand...why is this so hard.  Usually I send in resumes and I get calls.  Now I get nothing but rude, uncooperative people who know that people are desperate for work and they can treat them any way they want.   I'm so tired of looking for work.  If I knew that the place I am working at right now had some growth potential I wouldn't be so ready to leave, but it doesn't.   Ok, you win the Gods of whatever it is that's keeping me from getting a real full-time with benefits job.  You win!  I have officially given up on ever working in the social service field again.  I just...don't get it.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


Well, this woman called me for an interview today.  She left a message.  I call her back and of course haven't heard from her.  I really hate waiting.  I wish I had been here for the call.  I'm really tired of this job search.  I just wish someone would discover what an amazing person I am and just hire me.

Monday, August 30, 2010


An extract remarks a north.

It's been a while!

Well, we have had a busy several months.   Our son went to theatre camp, sports  camp, and art camp this summer.  He doesn't start school for another week.  Our daughter started school today at a new school.  It was sad to say goodbye to the old one, but this one is less expensive and closer;-)
I haven't done much on the writing front.  I've been busy taking them to and from places all summer.  Looking forward to fall because it's my favorite time of year and I have a new store to collect which means more money.  The store I started earlier this year I didn't like because it was further away, it didn't have a parking lot and this guy in the store really has something against me.  I was collecting a display one day and I said hello to him.  Of course he said nothing.  And then he started taking things off of the display right while I was collecting.  I was so pissed.  Usually if someone has to remove something from a display they will say "excuse me i have to take this' or they wait until I'm done.  Then when I was collecting last week he saw me.  I was looking down on my computer.  I pretended like I didn't see him.  He just stared at me and said nothing.  I knew right then I had to get out of there. What a freaking jerk!
I'm still looking for a job in social services.  I'm not holding my breath anymore.  No one, no one wants to hire me.  So, I'm applying for more jobs in merchandising and similar things to what I do now.
DH is still looking for work.  He hates his job. I pray everyday that the kids will be happy and healthy.  And they DH and I find jobs that pay us a decent wage and it's something that we want to do.  I think that's why I want my son to pursue the acting and the art because it makes him happy and if he can make a living at it...even better.

Friday, March 12, 2010

My new life starts today

I just started writing my screenplay.  I'm going to pay off my bills this summer and I will start personal training classes this fall.  I'm determined to lead the life I want to lead!

I must re-evaluate my life

Just found out that a boyfriend I had 17 years ago is married to a girl he said was a friend to him back then.  I thought he was THE ONE, but after we were involved in a motorcycle accident our relationship ended.  Not because of me, but because he couldn't deal with the fact that I almost got killed.  So, this friend of his I met a couple of times when we were dating in 1993.  They talked about going to Paris together which I thought was odd considering he didn't ask me to go and that Paris is one of the most romantic cities in the world.  He kept assuring me that they were just friends, but I got upset about it and we had a big fight.  We ended up making up, but about one month later it was over.  I think she wanted him and went after him.  She could see that he was having issues with the motorcycle accident and he was vulnerable. 

The reason I say I have re-evaluate my life is because she's on tv doing her thing.  She's on a tv show talking about fashion and how to live a fabulous life on a budget.  I can't even get a freakin' interview for a job.  I want to do creative, fun things with my life.  Now that I have kids and a husband who hates his job and could quit at any moment.  My brain keeps telling me that you have to find a 9-5  and make sure everyone has health insurance.  My heart tells me to write your script that you have in your head.  Become a personal trainer.  Maybe go to cooking or interior design school.  Start your own business.

Maybe finding this out was the push I needed.  I knew he was married, but I didn't know it was to HER.  Now I see she's successful and doing wonderful things it's made me pissed.  Pissed that I don't have that.  Makes me even more determined to do what I want.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a snow filled sky

Welcome to my blog.  I will be talking about events of the day, my search for employment and my struggle with weight loss.  I have been for most of my life overweight.  Not huge, but not small either.  Right now I'm probably on my 1000th diet. I gave up sweets and I'm vegan for Lent.  I have fallen off the wagon a couple of times. The hardest thing for me has been giving up the sweets.  I have been working out like a madwoman.  I notice that my clothes have been fitting better, but the scale has not been my friend.  I will continue my quest of thinness.  I will try to update this blog as much as possible.

I think my falling off the wagon has a lot to do with the fact that no one will hire me.  I can hardly get anyone to interview me.  I went for an interview last week and it went great, but I was the first person she interviewed.  She said that in a couple of weeks they would be contacting the people they would like to come in for a second interview.  I think if they were really interested I would have heard something by now.  Or maybe I'm just being impatient.  I should be happy I have a job.  It's part-time, close to home and my schedule is very flexible, but DH hates his job and wants to quit.  The only reason he doesn't quit is because we need health care.  So, until I can get a full-time job with health insurance he has to stay and be miserable.  Which is making me miserable.

The Hurt LockerLet's talk about my current crush...Jeremy Renner.  I would say move over Christian Bale or John Taylor of Duran Duran, but it's not that serious..yet.  I just put a whole bunch of his movies in my Blockbuster queue.  And I watched The Hurt Locker 2 times this weekend.  I wish he had won the Oscar.  His acting was fantastic.