Friday, March 12, 2010

I must re-evaluate my life

Just found out that a boyfriend I had 17 years ago is married to a girl he said was a friend to him back then.  I thought he was THE ONE, but after we were involved in a motorcycle accident our relationship ended.  Not because of me, but because he couldn't deal with the fact that I almost got killed.  So, this friend of his I met a couple of times when we were dating in 1993.  They talked about going to Paris together which I thought was odd considering he didn't ask me to go and that Paris is one of the most romantic cities in the world.  He kept assuring me that they were just friends, but I got upset about it and we had a big fight.  We ended up making up, but about one month later it was over.  I think she wanted him and went after him.  She could see that he was having issues with the motorcycle accident and he was vulnerable. 

The reason I say I have re-evaluate my life is because she's on tv doing her thing.  She's on a tv show talking about fashion and how to live a fabulous life on a budget.  I can't even get a freakin' interview for a job.  I want to do creative, fun things with my life.  Now that I have kids and a husband who hates his job and could quit at any moment.  My brain keeps telling me that you have to find a 9-5  and make sure everyone has health insurance.  My heart tells me to write your script that you have in your head.  Become a personal trainer.  Maybe go to cooking or interior design school.  Start your own business.

Maybe finding this out was the push I needed.  I knew he was married, but I didn't know it was to HER.  Now I see she's successful and doing wonderful things it's made me pissed.  Pissed that I don't have that.  Makes me even more determined to do what I want.

No comments:

Post a Comment